So often, our clients share a common fear: 


And they aren’t wrong. In a typical birth, it’s you, your partner, maybe your mother or sister, your nurse, a nurse for the baby, two people from the NICU, your doctor or midwife, a tech to prep instruments and such, maybe a resident or student or two or three or…

Wait a minute! That’s 10+ people looking at my lady bits! What, am I putting on some sort of show???

Almost anyone who gives birth will probably tell you the same thing:

You won’t care who’s looking in the moment. 

And I’m here to tell you: They’re wrong! Not wrong that you won’t care, because that’s entirely possible, but they are wrong to dismiss the feelings that you’re having as you think about that important moment. 

Which is why you should consider hiring a doula. That’s right, one more person in the room. A person who believes that your feelings about having your vagina on display are valid. A person who will pull the sheet up and down repeatedly to preserve your modesty in between pushes, if you desire. A person who won’t care if you rip the oversized hospital gown off in the throes of labor, but who will share ahead of time an idea of something to wear that won’t get in your way or the medical staff’s. 

But the real reason that most people hire a doula isn’t because they heard there will be 11 people in the room and thought, “Why not 12?” It’s because they desire the safety of birthing with competent medical professionals, but deep down, they wish it could just be an intimate moment with their family as they add another member to it. 

We love when our labor doula clients tell us, “You know, I remember that you were there, but I really don’t remember you DOING anything!” And their partner or mom or sister is thinking, “Are you KIDDING? How did you think I knew to put the cold washcloth on your neck at the right time, to move your hair out of your face while you were pushing, to press in exactly the right spots and say exactly the right things?!”

Your doula is the person who makes it feel like no one else is watching. 


About Kate Herzel

Kate Herzel is the co-owner of Heartland Doulas alongside Stacy Ash, and together with their combined 20 years of experience and 7 doulas, they help people have really amazing birth and postpartum experiences. In her spare time, Kate enjoys cooking with her kids, brewing beer with her husband, and entertaining for her friends.